check it out our google latitudes are spooning
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
