The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
