I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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