Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
