Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Are we still banned from the library?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
