I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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