you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
