Tell her she can't have a vagina
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
