White coat. Heels.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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