last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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