Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
