I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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