i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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