I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
