WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
