There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
