You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
