so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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