maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
