so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
