Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
this just has baby written all over it
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Randomize
