I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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