I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
