I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
even my farts smell like vagina
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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