ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
