And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
