Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
