did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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