My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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