not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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