You really coming over, don't trick.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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