I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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