"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
