piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
