what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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