Kiss
Puke
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
