I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
