Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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