He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
