I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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