dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
