its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize
