Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
