I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
