We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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