i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
