She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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