Where did you get a picture of my penis
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
