Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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