listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
